Mother Lover
What is a mother? You see her everywhere. She is braving Target with her traveling circus and an aisle full of silent critics. She is finding her voice in an encouraging scream she never knew she had on the sidelines of a soccer game.
She is at the park frantically trailing behind her fearless toddler trying to find the perfect distance of close enough to keep him safe but far enough away to let him envelope his own brave world. She is in the car in front of you during rush hour trying to put her game face on after a long day of work at the office before she switches gears into mom mode on only four hours of sleep. There are as many types of mothers as there are shades of colors in our world and each mother is so many versions of her own self. We create labels for the stay-at-home mom, the helicopter mom, the creative mama, the working mama, boy mom, beach body mom, foster mom, step mom, like a mom, blogger mom, or the natural-minded mama. We walk in circles with each other and in solitude on a daily basis. We are managing controlled chaos, leading stampedes of little feet, and raising little lovers who will hopefully move mountains and change the world in a way that only a mother could dream.
The days become shorter and the To Do list becomes longer. Our focus shifts from a single face staring back at us in the mirror to lots of little hands tugging at our shirts and little feet tripping over our every step. If you work full time you don't come home and throw yourself on the couch, you grab the baby and throw him onto your hip before you've even taken your shoes off. You've been thinking about what to make for dinner since you woke up and before you take your next breath you are making sure that bathes are had, teeth are brushed, and little tummies go to bed full after a healthy snack. In the back of your mind you are consumed with endless worries... bullies, high fructose corn syrup, ticks, and the internet.
You can't watch the news anymore because every headline screams at your mama brain to never let your children leave the house again. Your heart aches and breaks with every GoFundMe page that pops up in your social media feed. You wipe the tears away from your face as you imagine sitting next to your toddler in a hospital bed battling cancer or hear of one more mother gone too soon at the hands of her own husband's rage and insecurities. That is a lot of weight for one heart to carry around each day. You are the protector. You are the guide. You have all of the answers and for those you don't have you are constantly seeking out. With gentle grace and ferocious strength you lead the way. You are teaching them how to love, how to grow, how to forgive, and how to move their own mountains and inspire change in their own unique way.
So in the midst of sleepless nights, toddler suicide watch, structured schedules, bottomless piles of laundry, and endless rhetorical conversations, it is easy to forget your own name and how many times you've rotated around the sun. It's easy to let her slip through your own fingers. Underneath that messy top knot and dirty sweatpants is a woman full of dreams, passion, desire, gifts, and a unique spin on her own world. Why do we feel like when we become mothers that we forget who we are as women? Who says that just because you're a mom that you have to "act" like a mom. What does that even mean? Why is it selfish for us to still keep ourselves on that list of people who need us?
What I have realized while backpacking through this adventurous journey of motherhood is that I have never lost myself at all. No matter how wrapped up I get with the details of our daily life and the important responsibilities of being a grown up, there is still a place inside of me that thirsts for knowledge and wants to make a difference. My world speaks to me and I want to be a part of it all. Inside of me is a writer and a dreamer, a lover and a fighter. Who better to teach my children than me? And when I can't teach them they are teaching me. There will never be enough hours in a day or the right time to do anything. If I can't stop thinking about it then I need to do something about it
and that is where SMACK! tees evolved. My muse has been on the hunt to find a create outlet since I took my first breath and that didn't change when I became a mom. What did change is that I fell into a beautiful oasis of other women who are just like me. They lead with their hearts and have so much to offer this world of ours. I am looking forward to sharing this project with you as it evolves and hope to tell the stories of so many mothers out there changing the world one golden heart at a time!
xo
Danielle
