See You Later Alligator
Today we hit the 3 year mark. We've managed to live through three years without you. Ain't nothin' to it but to do it right? I have finally put your things into a box. I safely sealed up your shirts tight in a bag hoping to tuck away your smell for a rainy day. I neatly organized all of your papers and receipts with your handwriting on them. I look at them sometimes and imagine what you looked like when you were writing on them. Jameson and I opened up the box last night and sat in piles of you. We poured over pictures and held your keys and I gave him your old wallet. With tears in his eyes he said he'd keep it safe and told me it still smelled like you. I came across the letter I wrote to you and read at your funeral. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Putting it to paper made it real.
{Letter to my DaddyO}
How do you put a lifetime of gratitude into one last letter that you’re not ready to write? I was expecting there to be so many more chapters in this book.
On a warm August afternoon the universe shifted. The moon and the stars aligned and time stopped for just a moment. In that moment there was the quiet exhale of one final breath. One less father, one less brother, one less friend, one less companion.
He may have just been a nameless man to some, but to others he was your first voice heard, your first embrace, you first sensation of unconditional love. He was the man who always knew how to calm your fears and wipe your tears. He watched you grow while guiding you, but took a step back just so you knew what it felt like to stand on your own two feet. He had the arms that wrapped you tight and let you know that even though the world could be a cruel place sometimes he would always be there to protect you and teach you. And that when you fell you could always get back up again and learn from your mistakes.
And when the time came for him to move on, he would still live on. The echoes of his voice and his wisdom will move through the air on a breezy day. His free spirit will soar with the birds in the sky. He will paint a picture in the horizon for only you to see because he knows your heart is aching.
He will remind you not to shed a tear for him when he’s gone because he will be in a better place and you still have mountains to move and oceans to cross. He will tell you to enjoy each moment here like it is your last because no day is promised. And right before the sun sets in the evening, when you feel the indescribable emptiness in the deepest part of your heart, he will whisper in your ear from the corners of your mind that you are his one baby girl and that no matter how old you get you will always be his little sweet pea.
