A Brand New Year
I can’t believe that in the next couple of weeks we are about to inherit a one year old and a sixteen year old {driver…gulp}. All the while, another one is starting kindergarten as the biggest boy is off to middle school. I’ve been anticipating tears all summer! It’s no wonder that I completely spaced the fact that my own yearly milestone is creeping up right behind me whispering “Only four more years til you’re 40 Sunshine!!” I must be developing selective memory loss…
On this very wonderous occasion I will get up late and slide out of bed like a stealth ninja as not to wake our slumbering co-sleeper. I will definitely feel a year older as I try to rectify the situation with a little under eye concealer and a sloppy top knot. It may seem like any other day en route to work but something will feel a little different. The hum of the engine brings me to a state of deep thought, reflecting over 36 years and appreciating that I’ve arrived to this moment. My life, my Self, my soul has marinated to a lovely combination of laughter, sadness, persistence, perserverance, and understanding. Each year offers us a fresh blank canvas and gives that feeling of refresh and renew, offering a chance to hit the reset button and set goals, ambitions and a life full of new dreams. I will never be too old to walk with my head in the clouds.
Something I’ve found myself saying out loud a lot lately is “if only I had
known this about myself when I was 20…” It’s funny how long it takes for us to get to know ourselves. Well hello there! Nice to meet you! Why have I been so hard on you all these years? How has it taken this long to feel comfortable in your own skin and realize that not too much is THAT life shattering. You may have finally figured out that you should always say yes to a challenge and take that risk on with open arms. There’s no time like the present!
I’m all about goal setting, problem solving and trouble shooting… like seriously, to a fault.
I have lists for my lists of To Dos and Want To Dos and Someday We’ll Do. They’re hand written on scraps of paper, in planners, notebooks, the back of a grocery list and tucked away in my purse, my car, my back pocket and a lot of times after I write them out I don’t look at them again.I think every time I write something down I make a little promise to myself and acknowledge a wish and dream I have inside of me. I may not find the time or the resources or the energy to carry it out in a day, a week, month or year but it’s valid and noteworthy. A birthday is fun because it gives us a chance to pour over the moments that led us up to this day. It gives us a chance to be thankful for all of our blessings and hardships that have shaped us and conditioned us to move forward and live each day with a little more conviction and compassion.
This year I can’t wait to visit Kellan at all of his kindergarten parties and take pictures of him in his school appropriate costume (we’ll leave Michael Myers at home). I want to buy a serger sewing machine and start bringing my designs to life. I want to watch Jameson play soccer and listen to his new deepening voice as he tells me about new friends he’s meeting in middle school. I want to listen to Dakotah's contagious giggle every.single.day. I can’t wait for Cherish to drive me to Starbucks so we can grab a chai tea and carmel frapp and chit chat about sophomore life. I want to chase after Presley and he learns to stand even more grounded on his two feet with eyes wide as silver dollars as he takes this wonderful world in. I want to listen to Rocky bellow Elvis tunes while he shadow boxes the boys in the kitchen on Sunday morning. I want this life to envelope me in the endless possibilities of anything my heart desires. A fresh, brand new year.
